We have all been young and enjoyed being a party animal at some point or another.Mostly its when we were young and with out too much responsibility.
But for some people it becomes one of those crutches that’s hard to totally leave behind. Life is full of unexpected events that can be so stressful that the mind finds hard to cope with. The first thing that the mind wants to do when its overloaded is either shut down, deny its responsibility to find a solution and ultimately devise a plan of escape. For lots of people this can be what appears to be a quick fix of Alcohol or drugs. Sadly it just the start of a cycle that will become hard to break.This is the thin end of a wedge that will drive all your values and beliefs into oblivion.s the social scene.In every club, pub, bar or social gathering where alcohol is present a strange type of madness seems to creep in and fester. Allow me to explain.
You may have a perfectly good relationship with your partner but once one of you starts to want to go out on a regular basis or some times even as a one-off, then the social scene is one of a cultural habitual disease that has its own unwritten rules and obligations. Mostly as the alcohol starts to take over the mind, tongue and reasoning it also starts to take over any former values and beliefs you may have had in the past that has kept you on the straight and narrow. This occurs to ensure you become like all the others you mingle with on your night out and so the “Sheep Affect” sets in.
90% of the people who are out getting drunk are now going to go to almost another planet. A planet where sensible reasoning or common sense will not exist. This almost Alien planet is full of diminished values, negative beliefs and in some cases a reason to kick off, get violent and let off steam. It’s every man or woman for them selves and only the strongest or most sober will survive.
It becomes a place to berate and put down others, it’s a place where no one should be wanting to leave early and end the night. If you try to leave early you will be ridiculed and made fun of because drinkers do not listen to partners, they should be seen as strong and loyal to the other drinkers. Wanting to go home to your partner is seen as being week and not supportive of your fellow drinkers. They will tease you about being under the thumb and not being able to make your own decisions. So it becomes hard to leave this circle of friends and much like trying to leave a gang culture.
For most people its easier to comply with the gangs wishes than it is to be true to your loved one or partner. These gangs or drinkers will all develop a strange type of logic and ideas on how you should live your life, how you should be towards your partner, They just want you to comply with their rules and stupid thinking along with their reasoning so they can control you and your thoughts and become one of them.
They profess to know all the answers and will gladly give you miss guided information and useless advice. Here are some of the obvious ones that I am sure you can relate too.They will say stuff like “no don’t go now have another drink, stay a bit longer, just ring home and make up an excuse, say this, say that, do this, do that, don’t listen to your other half they are not worth it, its your life not theirs so do what you want, be the boss, don’t let them put the thumb over you etc, etc.
Any place that serves alcohol or has drugs associated with such a place is a potential disaster just waiting to happen. More relationships end because of alcohol or drugs than for any other reasons ever known. These places are full of people who just want to escape some sort of pain, but rather than fix their pain they choose to join others that regularly drink or use drugs because they are easily accepted and its like joining a very powerful group set that you can instantly bond with because they appear to understand your needs and dish out the sort of advice that will suit you at the time and that you want to hear. You will want to hear how to resolve your issues but the sad truth is it will all be the wrong type of advice.
Fixing stuff or finding a solution to your problems will never be found from looking through the bottom of a glass, or asking friends what to do. They will often tell you what it is they think you want to hear or give advice that may or may not be good.If they have a perfect relationship then it may be worth listening to what they have to say. But if they are not in such a great place either then its quite obvious that they should not be trusted to advise you. if they are not capable of sorting their own stuff out then why should they be any good at sorting other people’s stuff out?
My opinion here is to seek an outsider like a Life Coach who will be able to help you to distinguish the important issues first and the work with you to resolve them in a constructive way, not in a destructive way like all the above I mention.
Finally I would like to say that if you’re in a relationship now and one of you likes to go out and drink in the name of being social, then go out for just one night without touching a drop of alcohol. Just drink soft drinks all night and watch the disasters, lack of common sense and out right stupidity that starts to unfold all around you.It’s a fascinating experiment and one not to be missed. If nothing else it should show you why I am against drink now.