Understanding Bereavement Through Spirituality! ……. Part 3 Of 5
Blame comes in two parts, the first is aimed at “others” are to blame.
Blaming is also a way of devaluing others, by trying to escape the inevitable
The end result is that the blamer wants to feel disconnected from the event.
Others are seen as less worthwhile making the blamer “perfect”.
Off-loading blame means putting the other person or persons down, this is done by emphasizing his or her flaws. But I can tell you that this initial relief will be short lived.
The truth always needs to come out in the end.
But the fact is that when a person can not take responsibility for their own actions then its just a matter of time itself before you lose all sight of reality.
The best and kindest thing any one can do for them selves, is to own up to situations as and when they present themselves, if you feel that you can share these responsibilities’ with out blaming any one else then I can promise you that by taking charge and taking on the responsibility yourself, you will become 10 times more powerful than you can imagine.
Shying away from what is in essence a gift or sign for you to change something, will devalue your own self respect and every one else’s if you try blaming others.
When blame is used through bereavement it’s a very normal process to go through but please don’t dwell on it as it can not serve you in getting over your sorrow.
The second part of blame is when its undeserved blame based on actions beyond your control but feel compelled to self blame. By becoming the victim you experience behavioural self-blame. This will make you feel that you should have done something differently, and therefore feel at fault. Life is Life and we can have little and no control over other peoples lives, even our own lives are at the mercy of what will be will be.
Having a Spiritual belief will ease your lack of understanding of many things in life that can not be explained through science. Just remember that we are not here to understand everything in life and especially the things that can not be seen, touched, heard, smelt or tasted. A belief or a knowing of the unknown will serve you more through your life than any thing else you could possibly dream of. We will all meet up again one day so just think of your lost loved one as a holiday that they went on before you and that they will send your ticket as and when you have also completed your own work here on earth as they have done before you.
This was part 3 of 5 to come in “Understanding Bereavement Through Spirituality!
Part 4 Of 5 will be about facing DEPRESSION, I look forward to seeing you here again soon.
All my love……………Brian.
Feel free to look at my web site at www.bjacoaching.co.uk
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