Divorce! Part 1 of 7

Common Sense With A Spiritual Aspect On Divorce! Part 1 Of 7 Hello, I have seven parts to cover on the above title this is the first part:It’s just seems so easy these days to get married and when it doesn’t work out for what ever reasons then just get a divorcé.Well yes in theory but it’s not as easy as that as you may or may not know. I guess because your reading this then you have your own reasons but let’s face it it’s not a good place to be in your life and will have huge knock on effects if you do not approach it all with a plan in hand. Most things in life need planning, some more than others. Divorce is most definitely not to be taken likely but as I said if you have a plan then it’s a great start. If you don’t then either gets some one like a Life Coach to help you devise a strategy of how you want to proceed. This way you will ensure damage limitation on both your wallet and also some thing much more valuable …your emotions. Personally I am not a religious person but I am very spiritual and the more I live the more I find that we all need to honour and respect each other as if we were dealing with our selves. Spiritualism simply brings us all together as individuals but also as one. Spirituality brings us together where religion separates and splits us up, a bit like divorce really. We must become mirrors of ourselves and expect to get back what we project outwards to others each and every day. Divorce is an ending to what was once something very, very special, or should have been and in some cases maybe if it was not then maybe it was doomed from the start. But let’s assume it was something special for both of you and now it’s lost its magic and that you both want the divorce. Ok then when it’s mutual then it’s as fine as it can be. This is the best scenario you can have in a divorce as you can then both work together in making it as painless as possible and hopefully with respect. If however only one of you truly wants the divorce and the other is just going along with it then you can expect a bumpy ride. Some time neither of you truly want the divorce but because the other has suggested it (or maybe some of your so-called friends has done so more on this in part two) in one form or another usually through a heated row etc then some times couples can push each others buttons just to test the others boundaries. This is very dangerous but on occasions can result in the divorce becoming very relevant and before you know it things have gone too far and it does end up in a divorce case. So my advice here is to dig deep and test that your marriage is truly over before calling in the lawyers. Most of the time you are paying lawyers to do what you can actually do yourselves which is communicates on a respectful level. But if you approach it from a spiritual nature with lots of common sense and oodles of fair play then not only will it be better for you both but it will indeed leave you with less scars of the heart. As I mentioned earlier if you can treat others as if you were dealing with yourself then you will never expect any one to do or accept anything that you would not do or accept yourself. If you or your partner can not have this mutual respect then yes it will be messy and it will be painful so let’s assume for this next part that you have totally flipped the other side of the coin and your love you once had has now changed to hate on both sides. You are now both going out your own ways to hurt the other as much as possible. Let’s analyse this. You can not truly hate another unless you still love them. There are only two true emotions in life, Love and Hate! You can not experience one without the other; just the same as you can not have up without down, left without right or east without west. They are the opposites which can not exist without the other being relevant. Now that we have established this I suggest that you both pool your commonsense together and involve some professionals in the divorce field etc that can absolutely define what went wrong, what can be fixed, saved and work on to re-establish what was once worth marrying for. Nothing is truly broken and un-fixable especially when there is love involved. Hate or Fear is just love that’s gone wrong it’s just love that’s gone in its extreme of the opposite end of the scale. Most of the time being in touch with our own feelings, values and beliefs is what will carry us forward in life. Maybe your values and beliefs just need shuffling or even changing in some respects. These are issues you will never notice for yourself as such. It’s only a professional like a life coach or personal coach that will be able to pin point such things because we as humans have a built-in justification system that allows us all to come up with the most inventive ideas as to why we do what we do. Inventive and as logical as they might seem to you, they will not empower you to ever move on into the next part of your life. Divorce is un attaching you from what once was love. You have entangled your emotions, feelings and thoughts with each other just like the roots of two plants entangle with each other underground. From the outside things look as if they are separate and not at all joined. But once you start to separate them it can have devastating results and even result in long-term damage. So be careful who you employ as your gardener to separate such roots. So to end the first in my seven part letter I need you to take on board that being spiritual and using common sense in your approach to any important issues in life will always serve you well. But if we ever let emotion, temper and vengeance to rule your decisions then you are not only going to go from one disaster to another but you will not learn the lessons that life gives to us each and every day. Feel free to look at my web site at  https://www.bjacoaching.co.uk/index.html  Enjoy. Regards, Brian. Copyright 2005 bjacoaching.co.uk. All rights reserved.

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About bjacoaching

Hi, my name is Brian, I am a Life Coach / Personal Coach but I am also a very straight forward talking person that shares more in common with you than you will initially believe. Why and how can I say this? Because we are all basically the very same. We are all in search of the best life possible and we all need the very same basics such as happiness, love, health, and enough money to get bye with. When any of these things I mention above are scarce or in short supply then it will affect us in a dramatic way. So not only as a Coach but as an individual with foresight I will on occasions display a different take on things based upon reality as we see it and more importantly how we can choose to perceive it. As an individual I think out side the box and would encourage you to do the same as and when it might be necessary. The very fact that you are here means that you were meant to arrive here at precisely this moment in time as I believe in synchronicity and I do not believe in coincidences only things that actually “co-in side” which in mathematical terms means to fit together perfectly. But if you have already been here before then I must be doing something right. I am a very down to earth person that has learnt many many things from hardships and also from joy in my life as I am sure you have too. Get involved with me and I shall show you many things that will at very least get you to question or challenge many things that until now you either took for granted or never even thought possible. Whether you are religious or not does matter because for me it’s not important as long as you are happy with your own values and beliefs then that’s all that matters. If however you are not sure about your happiness or any other issues in your life then just keep an open mind and see how things can change. I am inviting you to go on a journey and for such a journey you will need some basic tools. A compass, a map and some survival essentials. These items are metaphoric of course, and represent the following: Your compass has to be your intuition and self belief, your map will be your actual goal or desire and you must understand where you are at this particular point in your life right now, other wise how will you know which direction to follow if you do not even have a starting point on your “life map” your survival essentials are going to be tools you require to help you survive and prosper through your journey, and these will be “coaching tools” that I can supply when required. I suppose it’s all going to be a matter of how much you desire your needs How important is it for you to get to where it is you wanted to go in your life? What will happen to you if you do not get what it is you are after? Can you truly allow your life to slip by with out reaching your target? All I know is that many people give up on there life’s desires and dreams just because they have tried a few times and then decided that its either too much like hard work and chosen to believe it just not going to happen.....WRONG! The truth is yes they have tried but they have not had the right guidance, tools or coaching to help them…that’s it! That’s the only reason! If you try to get there alone it will be a long and troubled journey. But if you have some one that’s been there before then they can give a wealth of information that will fast track you there before you loose interest or the will to achieve. A coach will make you accountable and support you every time you feel yourself going off track. My blog will be a free helpful tool that at very least will give you a few different ideas about many different things….So Enjoy! http://www.bjacoaching.co.uk/3.html
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